Career change?

So following on from my last post. I think it is clear that I need a career change. However, what exactly do I mean by that? The easy, rational (maybe) & certainly worldly thing to do is to go find another job. If it is my industry that is the problem, then I should go... Continue Reading →

Freight Jedi

  Continuing in my series of essays(?) under the banner of growth, I am finally getting around to looking at my career. I have been delaying on this because, well I don’t like to talk/think about my work & also I knew it would force me to look at the future. Well I’ve been looking... Continue Reading →

Not today

I have spent the last couple of days writing the next 2 pieces on my self examination series, as I seek to truly discover who I am. However today now seems like a ridiculous day to post something self serving. Instead I felt it appropriate to place on here something I posted on facebook in December. Following the senseless tragedy in... Continue Reading →

Seeking significance

As I open my eyes & look at the world at large When I view time for what it really is My life, as a grain of sand on the beach of history Seems so tiny & insignificant What then in such insignificance can be purpose Where can meaning be found In a world that... Continue Reading →

A prayer’s prayer

Do you know that your prayers are always answered? When you pray the same prayer a hundred or more times When that prayer starts to become part of the ritual of your commute When it seems like there is no response; That prayer will be answered Sometimes the answer is not yet Sometimes the answer... Continue Reading →

I love you honey poem

A request for this poem somehow appeared on my electronic to do list 🙂 Today seems like a good day to acquiesce to that request.  The voice of an angelI heard through a telephone lineThe ignition sparkFor a new dreamA dream beyond measureA dream so full of promise Uncontrollable passionTerrifying fearA step too far?Complete acceptanceFireworks of intimacy2 paths... Continue Reading →

How deep does the rabbit hole go?

And then nothingness Cocooned in ravenous safety & responsibility Death; of soul and of self Behold the future Empty nothingness Hopeless survival Mindless drivel, like the poem of a drunk   So then what, what could be? All that is left is a choice Will it be acceptance Or will it be refusal Will you... Continue Reading →

First World Problems

I got mad at myself yesterday. Let me start with I really dislike the phrase; 1st world problems, a problem is a problem no matter where you are from. However yesterday I had a complete 1st world problem hissy fit, realized it & then got mad at myself because of it. I suppose quickly realizing... Continue Reading →

To Dance

As you slowly forget The things that were troubling you You lose the concept of how deep is desperate need Instead your soul Gets caught in burning desire   Ahoy my hearties, follow me Waves of ecstasy rip through As you lose yourself to the rhythm of the moment Cares cast aside Sweat drips as... Continue Reading →

Almost suicide

Do you know what it is like To hold a knife to your stomach To want with every fiber of your being to push it through To see the blood & intestines run out To find out in that moment if anybody really cares Then to hate yourself even more because you couldn’t do it?... Continue Reading →

For the Poets

I get lost daily In the beauty of your creations Your lyrical tapestry Such creative mastery Finds me visiting words anew Emotions in common Feelings so foreign Your astounding courage to be so open Intimacy so freely shared Available for all who might care You are an inspiration Coupled with a motivation    

The armor of God

So God was talking to me in church this morning, I almost called it a vision, but in that it wasn’t visual I’ll go with God was talking to me.  How does God talk to me? Usually through thoughts implanted in my mind by His Spirit. How do I know they’re not my thoughts? You’ll... Continue Reading →

The return to darkness

What does it mean that we have returned here To the place of darkness To the origin of pain   What does it mean that I am staring at you Facing your repugnant stare Defying your orders?   There is something you must know satan You despicable beast You father of lies & evil  ... Continue Reading →

The dagger

Your memory is like a dagger to my soul Twisting reality and confusing memories Like autumnal leaves falling to the ground Composting into nothingness   Yet the nothingness nourishes The empty death of history Produces new life What of this new twist on reality?   Experience used instead of abused A newness to replace the... Continue Reading →

The World’s Still Turning

I wrote this song in the fall of 1995, as far as I can recall this is the first time I’ve ever shared any part of it.   Where do you turn & what do you do when your world’s burned You’ve nowhere to run & nowhere to hide, it’s time to face the truth... Continue Reading →

Recording music

Last week when I made the bold declaration that I was going to at least demo my old songs & put them on here, I did so partially to force myself to do it. Unfortunately there are 2 things that make it, well, difficult. One, is that requires me singing, for people, I’m ok with... Continue Reading →

Road Rage

Thoughtless insensitivity Reactionary insanity Absolute selfishness Utter contempt for others   Must think the best Should force myself to pretend But there cannot be that many emergencies On every single journey   You bring out the absolute worst in me You make me road rage And in that moment I am as bad as you... Continue Reading →

Working Out

Ok, so let me get this clear to begin with, I don’t like working out. There is something about it that just bores me, I especially don’t like working out at the gym, around a bunch of sweaty look at me folks. Unfortunately, I have reached the stage in life that if I don’t work... Continue Reading →

Time wash through as a river

Oh my aching heart Your love torn from the fabric of reality   If there was only something more I could do But the page was not turned, it was torn away Leaving nothing but regret & sadness   It is in the quite still That reality is the clearest The awkwardness of something missing... Continue Reading →

Goodbye sweet Shelby dog

The saddest of moments The most broken of hearts Absolute trust betrayed Complete love lost If only you’d listened If only you could have understood So sweet & tender So gentle & full of love You didn't walk you pranced Lineage of beauty deeply encoded in your DNA You loved a tennis ball, especially one... Continue Reading →

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