A sinner’s prayer

Does the light remove the dark or simply cover it up?

Impossible questions answered by dreams unable to be understood

What is this impossible battle?

The war of invisibility

You didn’t promise it would be easy or comfortable

Only the truth


But what of this enemy, the silent whisperer in the ear

Feel the world, give in to desire, taste what is on offer

Like a recovered addict sensing the calls of old

Give in or stand up?

Stand up for what? Is this not an impossible fantasy of things that simply cannot be?

Or is it true, that power beyond comprehension was given?

Is it fear of not feeling the desires answered?

Or is it fear of what might be possible if the true power is grasped?

Is the dream from another realm true, can it enter this realm & change the universe?

Who am I, what am I to understand?

Why must I face these battles & struggles?

Was I chosen for this or is this just the way it is?


Why didn’t I just take the blue pill? Ignorance was simpler

Ignorance was empty

Truth, struggle, pain, it is real & worthy?

I knew it wouldn’t be easy, but I didn’t know it would be this hard

Sometimes I feel like I’m going to explode

Sometimes I feel like I need to explode

Cut the world to shreds with my tongue

I know I shouldn’t, but it would be so easy to free the beast


Yet, even if I go there, you are there with me

Always ready to pick me up & clean me off

Your love cannot be exhausted

I don’t understand why you can’t just change what’s inside

I cannot comprehend how much you have changed what’s inside

It’s all so confusing

I can’t do this, I never could, I was never worthy

Yet you saw so much more than I could ever see

You see the oak tree, not the acorn

Where to go, what to do, how to be

Talk to me Lord, show me the way, please, give me the message

I don’t believe I was made simply to survive

What would you have me do?




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