You are cordially invited on my journey, my journey as I continue to discover who I really am, my journey to learn how to really think & my journey to be the best man that I can be.
What are you thinking? Nothing
What do you want to talk about? I don’t know, what do you want to talk about?
These are genuine responses that I have had far too many times in my life, much to the dismay of my wife. So how come a guy with nothing to say is starting a blog?
Well that is exactly the point. For most of my life, for many reasons I have avoided conscious thought as much as possible. To the extent that now in my mid 30s, while I am open to the concept, I honestly really don’t know how to think.
Ok, maybe I know how to think but I don’t practice the discipline of thought. I have run through far too much of my life on auto pilot, living a reactionary existence. As I have grown as a man & become a better person, the times when I slip back into reactionary mode frustrate me to no end. The discipline of thought requires practicing the discipline of conscious living & these are presently whatI would probably call my biggest struggles.
I have discovered recently through efforts to begin song writing, a passion I has in my late teens that has remained mostly dormant for 15 years, that I have a lot more to say than I realize. The problem is I don’t know how to access my thoughts, not the significant ones that may actually define who I am.
However when I sit down to write, invariably more comes out than I was expecting, hence the blog. My hope is through writing here, I will develop the ability to access my thoughts freely, to develop them & use them. I am on a journey to try & be the best man I can be, not just for me, but for my family & everyone I come into contact with.
So what will I write about? Not my family, I believe that my family life should remain mostly private, if I want to talk about my family I should do that with them, not a faceless community. Other than that, I don’t fully know yet; things that inspire me, things that touch me. I am a saved believer of Jesus Christ, but while I am sure He will have a significant input on what goes on here, this will not be a blog primarily about my faith. My faith is a significant part of my life, but I am no preacher, my call is simply to be the best I can be, to let my light shine & if it shines bright enough then it will hopefully be seen by others & make them want to shine too.
I love music, I love sports, video games, art & many other things that don’t jump to mind right now. I am sure they will all get a mention. The point is not for this to be a narrative on a specific subject, but for me to learn how to access my thoughts. If nobody ever reads this it will not matter if I accomplish that. If people read this & maybe even enjoy it or get something out of it, that will be a wonderful bonus. So here I am doing something completely about me, so that I can be better at being less about me !?
And so I have discovered the first frustration of this blogging game, I had a million things to say earlier this evening when I was on the elliptical at the gym listening to Led Zeppelin’s Celebration Day cd & all kinds of great things to say were there. Alas, I am done now though, maybe those great thoughts will one day return, I am going to have to be conscious to remember, or write down, the thoughts that pass my way during the day.
So I will leave you with this beautiful passage from Marianne Williamson I know it from a movie, although it comes from a book that I should probably read one day:
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. It’s not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.